Kaolin Fire with GUD Issues 0 through 5

kaolin fire presents :: writing :: poetry :: Futility


"Futility"

"I'll not give up." are the words that mark the end.
The phrase that marks damnation, the mantra that ultimately fails you.
Chant them now, out and clear: "I'll not give up, I'll not give up."
Hear the hollow ring sound true, a purity of negation.
"I'll not give up," I scream unto the world.
The observer can see the faltering voice, feel the quavering.
uncertainty.
of it all.

"I'll not give up." are the words you give me, my friend.
I see you and know you, have been you and through you, and I know.
"I'll not give up," will not hold long.  Resolution abating
mixed with a curiosity that's baking, to know what the end feels like.
A burning or freezing, numbness or pain?  A mental blossoming
or the fading of all?  Is it knowledge that's granted or is their nothing
to learn?  "I'll not give up," I cry out once more, but I see there your.
face.
and I cry.

"I'll not give up," are the words that I'm left with.
I love you and trust you and wish that things were.
"I'll not give up!" -- stronger now, almost convincing myself.
but not.
"I'll not give up" is the phrase that I chant to myself,
a caution tossed tearfully to the maelstrom of confusion, lost.
as.
all.

"I'll not give up," are the words I'll leave you with.
I love you and trust you and know not why this causes me pain.
I wish for things but know that I hope this will fade from you.
as I.
I wish in ending that you'll not remember me at all, for though I know.
not.
what causes me this pain, I know.
truly.
that I would wish none on you.

"I'll not give up," are the echoed remains of a once strong heart.
No one to blame cept mayhaps the one, the self, but that is gone.
No one to blame cept the rafters for the raindrops or the walls for the wind.
"I'll not give up," slowly fades.
And so do I, forgive me now, I mean no harm...



I am soooo fake pre-loading this image so the navigation doesn't skip while loading the over state.  I know I could use the sliding doors technique to avoid this fate, but I am too lazy.