kaolin fire presents :: writing :: poetry :: Apologies

"Apologies"

What are they?
Nefarious emotions, attempts at communications...
are they sincere?
and in either case do they matter?
In the end all they mean is "I failed."
without ever saying if I tried.
I did, you see, but do you see?
What does it matter one way or another
when all I can say is "I'm sorry."

My attempts were in vain or perhaps
never quite formed.
You've seen the sham 
that this is all I am.
Apologies I give you, and I give you my heart
in the hopes -
quite sincere -
that you'll take it apart.
Examine quite closly each infintesimal part
and see at the bottom that it's truly my fault.

"I'm sorry," once again, is all I can say,
admonishments, perhaps, "I didn't mean it this way."
"I wish things had gone better, gone better by far."
But all in all, you see, this is course for the par.
I try and I strive but these words mean I've failed.
And so there I have, and that's the whole of the tale.
"I'm sorry," my friend.
And that's all.