kaolin fire presents :: thoughts :: different answers

2000::Sep::10

Why do we say things we don't mean? I don't mean, "why do we lie?" -- that's a wholly different question (well, it might not be upon inspection, but at the moment that's NOT what I'm getting at)... I mean... Why do we say chocolate is our favourite flavor one day and that cherry is the next? Well, of course, there are different answers, depending.

Context is one thing. We could be saying less than we mean to, or meaning what we say in a given context and then later forgetting that context and tripping ourselves up with the differences.

Another is that we often don't understand ourselves as much as we think we do. This ties in with context. However, this is pointing to variables that we are not aware of at any level except perhaps chemically.

What else? Well, then there's the fact that we change. And changing brings in, of course, boundaries. We feel like we have to have *a* favorite. *a* reason. maybe two. but they're separate and distict, right? maybe if we could find and properly weight *everything* that affected us... for a given statement... we would be able to have it be more true for a logner time. but STILL we change. and with change ... there is (somewhere) a moment when one thing comes to our lips instead of the other for the first time... and then we sit and wonder over it. how did that happen? I used to think my favourite color was red. Was that a lie? Did I just not understand myself? Or have I changed so drastically that my favorite color is now green. Did a major event change me forever? Did my definition of "favorite color" change? I think that my definition of "favorite color" changed -- I spent some time thinking about what it meant. But I doubt that's all that changed.

Of course... a bit later, I was having a conversation and realized I'd missed one. Which is perfect. Memory is another thing that often leads to our saying things that aren't technically true.

Oh. and later -- another case. There's the case of the "tall tale" -- not quite false, but not quite real either. This is also the case of "the details don't matter", which can trip you up later as the details change and someone was taking it as gospel. Silly people. Why do we tell tall tales? I have a feeling that's another rant.

And when do we notice this phenomenon? Well... I tend to notice it when I'm having a conversation with someone, contradict something I'd said earlier, notice it (with or without them noticing and all the permutations therein ;), and then start bumbling about in my mind to see what it all means...