kaolin fire presents :: thoughts :: ideal relationship

1999::Dec::19

Oh... man.... I don't know. Okay, ideal ideal ideal, don't even know if I belive it's even possible... we'd live together, do most things together, have our own friends [this is important to me... I want to feel like I have :my: friends.... otherwise there comes issues as to whether they're your friends or not... or if thy're hers.... or if they're 'friends of the couple']... some shared friends are fine, and the friends can be friends, but... I want to feel like I have my own support group, so to speak... people that consider me more important than my SO. (and I think my SO should ave people that consider them more important than me...) And I should feel that my SO is more important than anyone else, and vice versa. Preferably we'd have different jobs, which would make the rest of the time more important, hopefully. Then it's a question of ratios... how much time together versus how much time apart... Also... this is only really talking about a long-term relationship... the kind that eeds planning and committment. So as long as there was a belief in the mutual commitment, the ration of time apart to time together could be large-ish... But I'd prefer smaller... most time spent together, with occasional vacations from eachother (like, week or weeks at a time), and occasional evenings apart...

I don't know. I haven't figured out the whole relationship thing myself. One thing that I want to do is plan out my future, to some extent. I want to have a child.... One. :) And so I need to work 18+ years of my life around that, while allowing for personal growth, and anothe rperson's desires as well. This is a condundrum that greatly interests me.

My hope/belief/foundation... I think... and I'm making this up as I go along, but it seems to fit all the facts and feeligs... is that if a pair of lives can be worked out with some broad brushstrokes for the next some-odd years, then no matter how much time you want to yourself, you can stick to the plan, and accomplish it without regrets or resentments. In fact... happiness. That's my hope. I'm sticking to it, for now. :)

What would be best, of course, would be to be in a relationship, feel secure, and be secure all in one.