kaolin fire presents :: thoughts :: bragging

2001::Feb::28

I have a big problem with bragging.

Not that I hate it when other people brag, though I do, but that's not what this is about.

Not that I hate it when I brag, though I do, but that's only tangentually related. However, it's a good place to begin.

I don't like to brag. I worry a lot about whether what I'm saying is coming off as bragging. I have a habit of telling people everything that I'm doing, constantly (at least, that's how it comes across in my head -- other people seem to think different things on the subject). Of course, it's all perspective, and the worst part is it hinges on the societal definition of bragging -- there's a fine line written somewhere in the dust, and I don't begin to understand the playing field. Perhaps someone will sit down and explain it to me.

Some people (when I ask them) just shrug it off and say not to worry about it; others say they don't consider what I tell them bragging, because it's interesting. I suppose I don't ask other people. Of course, my parents (to some extent) live on what I have to tell them. And I (generally) like to tell people what I'm doing. It makes me feel like I exist more -- conveying my meaning.

And at some point, this has to be bragging -- it feels good to tell other people "how well I'm doing". It also feels good to tell other people "how fucked up my life is", which itself could be bragging, or it could be whining. I don't know. Some people like the way I rant, and I can understand that in an abstract way -- I like how some other folks rant... but I don't grok it when it's me, I suppose. I don't even like the real sound of my voice.

dictionary dot com doesn't make it any easier. "To talk of one's self or things pertaining to one's self, in a manner intended to excite admiration, envy, or wonder [...]". Well, and so? I certainly do that, and I suppose that's what I'm wrestling with here. So, it's not that I don't want to brag at all -- but I don't want to be a nuisance about it.

How does one find the socially acceptable boundary line of when bragging is okay and when it's not? When is it a good story and when is it ... not?